He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
