ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
