Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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