dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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