We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
