He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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