69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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