I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
