I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
