i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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