i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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