I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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