So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
