I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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