drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
