this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
