Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
