i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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