what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
