so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
