Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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