Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
