I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
