he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
