So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FUCK WHALES
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