and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
