Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
