i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
