You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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