There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
