I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
