Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
