sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
