Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
