I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
