the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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