Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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