He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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