I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
