Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
