Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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