Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
