the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
