Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
