It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
