Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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