I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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