Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
