So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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