I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
