who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
